[Error: unknown template qotd]Every. Bloody. Thing.
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When your initial feeling of caution before reading an article somehow pays off.

spidey sense )
I doubt many will notice this so it's ok...

I still have this idea I really will ditch this LJ and one of my public SNS for real I sound like Tao with his hiatus. Wow we're really siblings. I've had enough of things, people and certain fandoms. I've been hit with messy friendships, made too many errors and sacrificed things I liked because of other shit.

Readers may spot the odd fangirl post specifically regarding 8 people now and then but that's about it....and updating my writing journal [it's on LJ and on Blogger so I'll crosspost massively]. "Pages of Paradox". That's what it's called.

Find me on Weibo or Dreamwidth.
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[Error: unknown template qotd]Undoubtedly Kino Makoto / Sailorjupiter.

My muse. My inspiration. What got me into fanfiction and writing in general.

She was a big part of my life. I went places with writing this character. Crazy how that occurred since I didn't read the Manga or watch all of the Sailormoon Anime.

She was my output for expressing myself because at the time I was lazy to do original fiction. She was what I strived to be even though we were so different and she was one of the biggest underdogs I ever fangirled who I felt deserved more recognition than she got amongst the fandom.
[Error: unknown template qotd]11 years worth of ideas have been abandoned for blogging and non-fiction stuff...but I'm working my way back to creative writing after dropping fanfiction back in the day. I got inspired to really go for it and just write my damn life out.

I don't have personal tips but I've often been prompted as to why I haven't been writing for so long when I shouldn't have any excuses since I'm supposedly in a good place and don't have difficulties. But it's not that simple. So much conflict to deal with.
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It's funny how an individual who is deemed useless/deadweight/untalented in many things can somehow prompt me to immediately 'meta' about them or self-reflect. You'd think it was just one fictional muse that could do wonders for so many years would be the solution to lacking creativity and much more.

babbling continued )

Some thoughts

Feb. 22nd, 2015 02:31 pm
vash_chan: (Taehyung)
Leaving doesn't mean I want to get married and have kids. It's something different.

deleting )
I still stand by what I wrote here which feels like a lifetime ago. Where did it all go wrong? Where did time go to be exact?

my big muse and big influence share things )
I have a crap load of things I want to write. Majority of it will be focusing on the problematic faves and putting them into articles, as well as short stories. Fiction, it's been a while since we last met.

more 凡凡 talk )



Here is a quick review on the debut novel by fellow British Born Chinese PP Wong. Xposted from here

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PP Wong's book launch took place in Daunt Books, Holland Park branch and I thought I'd pay a quick visit to meet PP and explain how I felt about her book, as well as show some support from one BBC to another. Her family are Singaporean which is next door to my family. Well this made a change from the many Hong Kong BBCs I encountered surely.

The experience in general was what I expected i.e. busy and filled with professional writers, editors, publishers and what have you but then there were little moments which surprised me.

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photo credit goes to this site


Also known as The Legendary Police Woman, Damo is a police action drama set in the Joseon Dynasty with Ha Ji Won as the female protagonist.
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I did write a huge post relating to this on my Chinese blog and it wiped my brain out so I won't say too much here.

Instead I'm going to say how much I cannot stop listening to I Remember by B.A.P's Bang Yongguk and Jung Daehyun ever since I caught up with B.A.P's discography so far. My inner "baby" (ugh how can the B.A.P fanbase have such a name like this? :/) is growing over time. I still cannot fangirl as openly when it comes to a few bands because 1) they tend to be younger than me by a lot of years it makes me feel yucky and old and 2) too many bands to deal with in one go. Sometimes they all come simultaneously.

Also been checking out their live performances when they toured America. So far, it sounds like they have made a very positive impression :)

This clip was from last year when B.A.P visited Malaysia.



I still want to go to Asia for a gig though. It would be a very different experience and maybe I can overanalyse or compare to the international crowd I encounter in London.
I got inspired by this fandom post on Asian Junkie and another post discussing International and Korean fans in Kpop fandom. Even the UnitedKpop post on race got my brain buzzing.

As someone who used to be a regular contributor in many kinds of fandoms ranging from Rurouni Kenshin, Heroes to Jrock music fangirling and a lot more in the days (yes I used to be a rabid fangirl who did those bad things like bashing characters and regretted it), I have recently developed an understanding as to why a large number of native Asians tend to be...selfish and not always wanting to share their fandom culture. Mainly because it's started to happen to me as I get older. I think this is a bad sign.

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I wish there was a way we could upgrade or clone ourselves so we could do housework, marathoning TV series or films and writing all at once and not get in trouble for it. It's been happening to me lately. I know I haven't written anything creative in so many years and have fickle reasons for it but I guess writing does get my brain working, even if it means long hours of being in front of the reason. orz.

But then again you can't really do any of these hobbies if you're working full-time in an office can you? Funny because when I went to see my job advisor this afternoon to get my payment this week she was checking my skills and qualifications and asked me if I still write. I explained I did blogging and she said it was good I still write because when we're stressed out (mainly from job hunting) we might want to write to keep our brains working. If only my own blood actually said that to me and not judge me for it. Same goes to certain recruitment agencies.

I lied about not being stressed out over this job hunting because I really am. I have to keep theorising the possible jobs I can do but it seems like I'm running around, wasting time with an Asian F of sorts. I can't just say, "I'm going to learn Mandarin and better myself so I beat the gwei lo." I tried and failed. My mentality is not Asian enough o_O I don't lie to companies when I say I can't speak Cantonese fluently. I dislike the assumption that I'm expected to be good at it because I'm Chinese.
Big Bang you inspired me to self-reflect again. Why? *ponders* Hopefully it'll make sense. I got the idea from watching Intimate Note.

maknae power )
I came across this interesting blog post about BBC Literature or the very small existence of it. Honestly he does bring up a lot of valid points on why not many BBC authors are as well-known. It also reminds me of why I started writing in the first place. Because British Born Chinese people don't have a voice. Or if they did, they just struggle with getting their point across (ugh this is me. FML). Alternatively they just don't seem interested. Who knows? For me...I started blogging about my BBC-ness and my struggle with my ethnic identity because I couldn't tell people to their face on who I was so easily.

I just hope I can channel these kinds of reflections through a novel or short story. I chose a writing degree after all and sadly slacked off for most of the years D:. I think at this point I can't risk being worried on my so-called protagonist being labelled a Mary Sue. If EL James and Stephenie Meyer got published with a Sue character I may as well do my best to get my work across too. I guess every writer has done it so what the hell right?

The blog post I've linked to does take me back to my fanfic days and it even represents my reason for starting on Kino Makoto fanfiction too. I felt at that time there was a lack of decent fic that focused on Mako-chan. I didn't know about Yuri and Yaoi back then so of course I didn't realise there was already a large number of homoerotic fanfic surrounding the Sailor Senshi. Then I discovered Sailormoon crossovers...and that's where it all began for me and that was when I found other Mako fans/writers who were trying to do something with positive Mako-chan representation.

Writing

Sep. 13th, 2012 12:06 am
vash_chan: (Sad Mako-chan)
Reading through the latest posts on Fanficrants brings back a lot of memories of the do's and don'ts in writing and the fandoms I like always have drama in them -_-.

Days of fanfic writing seem to have gone for a very long time but maybe I'll have something cool to write about soon (poor wishful thinking there). I shouldn't keep looking at the fics that are still on my fanfiction.net profile because...ugh. I think the only time I'd really go onto fanfiction.net is when I get a review alert. I re-read some of the chapters to a few of my fics and I notice some errors in time continuity. That is a clumsy move.

I still have this untouched short story I need to work on. It's an original piece though. I just need to sit down and take it seriously. Also applies to other blog posts that are overdue. I haven't even written my post of feels in regards to the Olympics, namely the badminton yeah my bias but even other sports that home team managed to win medals for.
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