I wasn't one of the lucky fuckers who went to KCON France but the audio and Periscope streams I found were better than nothing (as I said previously I held back on tickets because of sacrifices). I saw Bangtan broadcast on the V App just before I finished work and was flailing quietly despite my day being so shit no thanks to people ruining it.

I managed to catch Bangtan in time on the streams and got so many feels. If anyone can help me sneak to their Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa epilogue tour in Asia that would be most appreciated ;; And yeah count the GOT7 Fly tour.

And when a family member says we'll go to a country for holiday I don't believe them. I never do. It's fucking bullshit. I'll just have to sort out the stuff myself because I trust nobody. And yeah the minute I go on annual leave I dread the shit that will surface. See again, no trust in the working environment. Nobody listens to what I say. I think I'll only get to use up all my remaining leave when I leave my job and go on a massive break before doing whatever it is next.
[Error: unknown template qotd]Every. Bloody. Thing.
Read more... )
[Error: unknown template qotd]Marriage, kids, a relationship, bungee jumping or doing anything daring in public...I guess everything you can name in the world of normality.

I somehow don't think many people have had 100% identical (ethnic) identity crisis as I have had. They got out of it or DGAF and let themselves be ostracized for whatever reason. There's also appreciating other Asian cultures in a deep manner which many Asians side-eye the fuck out of as if we're white/black Weeaboos.

Sorry I break the supposed stereotype of being a British Born Chinese or a white-washed banana.
[Error: unknown template qotd]I'm bland but if I noticed that if I did something good, someone will copy me. It tends to be subtle. As for people influencing me...if you don't count deceit and manipulation because of sneakiness that is...then yes 'certain' people can affect my thinking.
It's funny how an individual who is deemed useless/deadweight/untalented in many things can somehow prompt me to immediately 'meta' about them or self-reflect. You'd think it was just one fictional muse that could do wonders for so many years would be the solution to lacking creativity and much more.

babbling continued )
Randomly placed dream. Awkward AF.

Read more... )
Tags:
I mainly point to the colleagues, ex-school peers and relatives I personally know IRL and added them on Facebook. I used to bitch a lot in Facebook updates and that was before I registered on Twitter. Sorry for those of you on this f-list who do follow me on Twitter that you spot my over the top rambles on life, identity and fandom feelings. I can't help it ^^;;

I still do 'abuse' FB updates on all my accounts (I use more than one for various purposes) but not as much as my first days after registering on that site. Another excuse for not using Facebook much is because I ignore a lot of my colleagues and relatives' updates and each time they ask me how I am I want to run away. They've all been successful in marriage, starting a family or getting the job of their dreams and it sadly makes me jealous. It's why I avoid reading their feeds and filter a lot. I only read updates from musicians, actors or department stores.

Oh my days

May. 7th, 2013 09:12 pm
vash_chan: (Sad Mako-chan)
I have 5 days left of being in my late 20s then I hit a new milestone. Sadly I don't feel like I've "matured" in my life or achieved anything mindblowing when it comes to careers and this makes the change of age a bit scary for me. Will thank / blame the Peter Pan Complex for that XD

But fangirling-wise that is something else. I've explored so many new things, appreciated what some fandom interests have done to make me happy but then when you strip that away I feel like an empty shell.

I wish there was some sort of balance with a good job / promising career and your passions -_-
I wish there was a way we could upgrade or clone ourselves so we could do housework, marathoning TV series or films and writing all at once and not get in trouble for it. It's been happening to me lately. I know I haven't written anything creative in so many years and have fickle reasons for it but I guess writing does get my brain working, even if it means long hours of being in front of the reason. orz.

But then again you can't really do any of these hobbies if you're working full-time in an office can you? Funny because when I went to see my job advisor this afternoon to get my payment this week she was checking my skills and qualifications and asked me if I still write. I explained I did blogging and she said it was good I still write because when we're stressed out (mainly from job hunting) we might want to write to keep our brains working. If only my own blood actually said that to me and not judge me for it. Same goes to certain recruitment agencies.

I lied about not being stressed out over this job hunting because I really am. I have to keep theorising the possible jobs I can do but it seems like I'm running around, wasting time with an Asian F of sorts. I can't just say, "I'm going to learn Mandarin and better myself so I beat the gwei lo." I tried and failed. My mentality is not Asian enough o_O I don't lie to companies when I say I can't speak Cantonese fluently. I dislike the assumption that I'm expected to be good at it because I'm Chinese.
Big Bang you inspired me to self-reflect again. Why? *ponders* Hopefully it'll make sense. I got the idea from watching Intimate Note.

maknae power )
  • 02:00 Tweets for Today j.mp/mV8y5W #
  • 08:35 @gogomomokoko I hate it when men do that and when they slouch in their seat it takes up more room >:( #
  • 08:37 @Kiz_zle :( hopefully the bug will disappear permanently by the time you reach NY. Have fun over there though!! #
  • 09:00 @DiabloSwing awesome :D #
  • 09:26 Bet they'll get a mgr replacement who isn't even british. But so long as it isn't some self-righteous, moronic dick #
  • 09:30 @hmvtweets dir en grey, versailles philharmonc quartet, miyavi (solo artist) and l'arc-en-ciel to name a few #
  • 09:33 Free pizza today but I won't spend my lunch break chitchatting because I have more important things to do #
  • 10:07 @hmvtweets depends what metal sub-genre you're after :) My fav band is x japan but they're not on the site yet. They mix classical + metal #
  • 10:48 @the_overtones cheer up lachie *pats head* #
  • 11:33 Dying for that pizza :/ it'll probably taste crap anyway but it is free food #
  • 11:51 Getting nauseous from the heater close by. Supervisor, turn the damn thing off it's hot outside today )': #
  • 11:57 @the_overtones envious you're in a nice place. Enjoy your stay there :) #
  • 12:12 @29rain looking good, oppa ;) #
  • 13:06 The pizza was unsurprisingly cold but it went very quickly #
  • 13:12 t.co/d8rjhEz Coming out as Goth #
  • 13:13 t.co/9c4xYLs Coming out of Goth wardrobe #
  • 14:24 Still haven't bought tix for Rock Of Ages. Hayaku, Vash-chan #
  • 14:26 Absolutely full up from the pizza. Pepperoni feast and Hawaiian were the most popular #
  • 14:28 Perm staff aren't sure what to get supervisor as a goodbye present. I honestly 'dgaf' #
  • 15:07 Photo: t.co/lGw1J7S #
  • 15:39 @therealgokwan what do you mean? 'Auntie' goldie cheung right? She made us chinese look stupid. I'd be more embarrassed if she was malaysian #
  • 19:10 @iansomerhalder omg you should work on the wildlife channel :D <3 this vid so much. #
  • 19:11 I liked a @YouTube video t.co/5uIxoAw Leatherback baby cruising to Atlnatic.mov #
  • 19:21 @JP_underground guess I'm the odd one out against these protesters since I have no major prob with Jdramas and genuinely like Kdramas -_- #
  • 19:27 JFC, guess I'm the odd one out against these protesters since I have no major prob with Jdramas and genuinely like Kdramas -_- #
  • 19:32 I don't hate Jdramas because I've never sat down to watch any from start to finish. What little I have see… (cont) t.co/MYPbKS9 #
  • 19:37 RT @concertweirdos: Screaming at your screen when you finally see tour dates listed. #concertweirdos #
  • 21:08 @iansomerhalder hello Ian :D #
  • 21:28 #trueblood Sookie's dream conveniently consists of those two vamps in her love life #
  • 22:02 #trueblood Jesus you're my hero xD How awesome was he by helping Mavis? #
  • 22:03 #trueblood Tommy trying to make amends for his mistakes he made to Sam :/ he got whooped by the wolves though #
  • 22:09 #trueblood Kapow!! Take that haters. Sookie made a very valid point about the double standard between triangl… (cont) t.co/YM5wjuL #
  • 22:11 Writer's Block: Scary movie j.mp/nUZTFX #
  • 22:11 Writer's Block: Scary movie j.mp/nYOgSx #
  • 22:39 Happy birthday Richard Armitage :) #
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  • 02:00 Tweets for Today j.mp/n2oVgz #
  • 09:01 @YoshikiOfficial man I'd love to be Xed again \m/ #wearex #
  • 09:10 Tragically unfunny how a Chinese person will claim they are only joking to you when they sounded like they were putting you down so harshly #
  • 09:16 @vash_chan ... well it might be said for any Asian I guess. Fab to more cultural clashing )': #
  • 09:17 @29rain t.co/0JJcBPd - Oppa this is just so wrong but so funny hahahahaha. Sailor Bi will punish you in the name of the moon #
  • 11:06 Nong Shim Onion Rings nom nom #
  • 11:12 @RJRoldan I've done that before too D: So not cool but like you say you still manage to clean yourself hehe #
  • 12:42 Wow so the original damage from last Mon evening in work area was worse than I thought #
  • 14:16 I was going to buy a cd from Oxfam but that specifc shop had been completely destroyed by those filthy SOBs #
  • 14:26 @therealgokwan interested to see how your costume looked Gok ;D #
  • 14:44 Tou-san said he thinks the China mens doubles team are quite good looking. They're tall and slim, not too buff. Yes I kind of agree too #
  • 14:45 Even the Korean badminton players... those guys aren't too shabby either. I do watch players for their skills of course - duh #
  • 14:47 @o2sbe omg Rock Of Ages, count me in :) I was just thinking of buying tickets to see that musical #
  • 15:09 dyedgreyillusion: This was how I felt after watching the BWF World Championship men’s singles finals... t.co/2pfJpxk #
  • 15:50 @AmberrMerry done!! #
  • 15:54 Signed supervisor's bye bye card today. Wonder what her mgr will buy her. Maybe nice, cheap jewellery from primark #
  • 15:55 @the_overtones haven't seen it yet. Heard tom felton is in it so that might tempt me even more. #
  • 20:17 @the_overtones no fair *pouts* if it was on a music channel I probably missed it. I can wait though. It's okay xD #
  • 21:05 Halfway through latest ep of #trueblood I was hoping they'd include the E/S shower scene from Dead To The World but instead there's snow!? #
  • 21:40 #trueblood oh dear methinks Debbie will really die. But will it be by Eric like in the books? #
  • 21:41 #trueblood Eric is spellbound oh noes. #
  • 21:41 #trueblood oh fack so the father of Luna's daughter is Marcus?! #
  • 21:42 @the_overtones just watched latest episode of True Blood but the new series hasn't started in the UK yet #
  • 21:49 #trueblood Eric - My Liege. Sookie - My... Bill. Eric's face says it all ^_^;; #
  • 21:51 omg @gackt 's 'villain' look in The Tempest has me in lolz and curiosity. Why did it have to be a Chinese looking character though? Hmm... #
  • 21:55 @gogomomokoko I've heard Gackt's voice acting for games and Anime. Hehehe he's not too bad. #
  • 21:57 RT @concertweirdos: RT this if you ever been to a sold out show. #concertweirdos #
  • 21:58 RT @concertweirdos: Wanting to do the night all over again even though you feel like you're about to collapse. #concertweirdos #
  • 23:00 @ConcertWeirdos i only got hugged once so far but it was really nice haha :) #
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[Error: unknown template qotd]

I don't see myself making money on the same lines as financial people for sure. I don't think anything will change. I will just grow old and become a hermit. I will never find the right job for me. Doesn't help when you haven't got a specific career in mind and people are so cynical on whatever your dreams are.

If things did go my way, I'd meet trustworthy friends who I get along with and we'd form a band then tour all over the world.
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My first job after graduation I got a lot of shit from my supervisor. She was from Cameroon and she just gave me a hard time, bossing me around because I got my work wrong during my first weeks at this job. I found her incredibly fake and her arrogance annoying.

I didn't get my revenge but somehow karma kicked in months later when she got in trouble for swearing at another colleague and was lectured by my manager.
  • 02:00 Tweets for Today j.mp/j8b66I #
  • 11:02 @katharotes GO GO GO GO GO!!! Would hk or china be other possibilities for you? #
  • 11:08 @katharotes they are explosive. Saw them in london last tues and nearly died #
  • 12:10 @ladygaga Awww. Whatever one may say about the Jonas Brothers, this lad did pay tribute to one of your songs :) #
  • 12:15 @katharotes hope the Thailand tickets doesn't sell out quickly for you. It would be more convenient to get there from Malaysia #
  • 12:32 @katharotes Not yet. I think the band will probably announce Asia dates soon once they've finished most of their current tour. #
  • 12:41 @katharotes if I had a lot of money then yeah xD My family would kill me though if I decide to head to either HK, China or Taiwan just for X #
  • 13:04 @vannessvanwu just heard your song Is This All and I really liked it. I'm a huge fan of Ryan Tedder from @OneRepublic so that's a bonus :) #
  • 13:07 Watch THEORY OF A DEADMAN's amazing new video for 'Lowlife' and win super-rare signed prizes! - newb.lk/lXg9ZB @toadm #theorylowlife #
  • 13:21 @katharotes haha I've never noticed that but you got me curious. Which pictures made you think they looked alike? #
  • 14:55 @katharotes hahaha okay I see what you mean #
  • 15:01 #NowPlaying Talking To The Moon - @brunomars #
  • 15:32 What's the point in watching a sports match when people keep shouting at the TV screen while you're in another room and can hear everything? #
  • 15:48 Photo: fuckyeahkyeoptakoreanstars: Good morning Oppa :) tumblr.com/xlu3axusty #
  • 16:11 #itpissesmeoff how people just assume you haven't done something when you did it right in front of their face (clearly they weren't looking) #
  • 17:08 bit.ly/jTuAq7 can't remember if I linked to this but it is an interesting article I like to go back to. It's about top Korean stars #
  • 19:19 So I'm Loving You duty duty duty duty j.mp/mpU45e #
  • 21:26 #poptoopera Claire + Queen Of The Night = win. She even looked the part of the evil mother too #
  • 21:50 @gogomomokoko have you seen her in Out Of Sight with George Clooney? She was okay in that. #
  • 22:00 @YoshikiOfficial omg wtf the barrier broke?! Hope you and everyone else were ok and still enjoyed yourselves ^_^;; #
  • 22:37 #popstar #poptoopera I only agreed with one of the finalists. I just knew who the public were going to vote for. Shame #
  • 22:38 I didn't watch #wimbledonfinal as people were already screaming in the living room so I had a rough idea on what was going on #
  • 22:41 That Djokovic VS Nadal match was very intense from what I heard. Could've gone either way... #
  • 22:52 Supervisor back in office tomorrow morning. Blah. Back to dull, monotonous environment of high level as usual :/ #
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  • 02:00 Tweets for Today j.mp/mpsDc5 #
  • 08:57 @YoshikiOfficial well that was nice of hide-san. But why did you order fish if you can't eat the bones in the first place? ^_^;; #
  • 08:58 @MattWycliffe morning to you too :) #
  • 09:01 @gogomomokoko I expected the article to say she liked Robert Pattinson haha #
  • 09:03 @therealgokwan well it's better than finding yourself crying from a bad dream you can hardly remember right? #
  • 09:06 #ialwayswantedtobea rockstar, minus the enormous musician's ego #
  • 11:15 It seems we will be getting new PCs next week. I'm up for that. But I'm worried whether all the files and progs I need will still be ok #
  • 11:15 Hopefully I can listen to music on the new pc because this one has sound problems :/ #
  • 12:00 @YoshikiOfficial so happy you guys got coverage on UK news (kind of) :D #
  • 12:01 @YoshikiOfficial Oh if you're not up for PG Tips, try Tetley or expensive breakfast tea like Peyton & Byrne. #
  • 12:01 @YoshikiOfficial you should've gone to Japan Centre to buy green tea, silly ^_^;; Or even Arigato supermarket #
  • 12:03 RT @yoshikiofficial: #WeAreX !!! t.co/Tb2b3kp Paris show is tomorrow! 明日はフランスでコンサートだよ!!! #
  • 12:05 I keep wanting to write stage dive but my brain insists I type tongue dive instead. Damn you @adamlambert for infecting my mind xD #
  • 12:08 OK tbf I can't imagine @yoshikiofficial wanting to tongue dive any fans since he stage dives more. Would @gackt tongue dive though? Hmm... #
  • 14:32 @gogomomokoko I was also thinking about other minor characters e.g. the guy who plays Viktor Krum (forgot his name completely) #
  • 14:37 @official_tWitch I'm working unfortunately during those hours. Sorry Twitch :( #
  • 14:55 Writer's Block: Upon further review j.mp/lKNJKI #
  • 14:55 Writer's Block: Upon further review j.mp/lP0TAj #
  • 15:14 @takethat #ProgressLiveTop3 Back For Good, Rule The World and Pray #
  • 16:04 Scars, silent jealousy, endless rain and forever love j.mp/kVjSlw #
  • 19:19 @gogomomokoko we can't listen to music while we work (supervisor is so boring). Only during breaks :/ #
  • 19:25 @TomFelton what also pisses me off is how chavs and urban types like to blast their mobile phone music on loudspeaker. Seriously wth? #
  • 19:54 @gogomomokoko can you actually bookmark the page you're up to? #
  • 19:57 @gogomomokoko wow surf the net too?! Now I'm curious lol #
  • 20:03 @gogomomokoko I thought it was just an ebook reader and that was it. Didn't realise it had basic surfing included. No wonder it's popular #
  • 20:27 Today was relaxing. Seems the workload is okay so far. Plus my supervisor is off this week. Makes it even better #
  • 21:51 #nothingsmoreirritating than hearing loud music playing in the middle of the night #
  • 21:54 Is there some Bollywood open air concert or something in the local park? I can hear the music from my room. It's so loud #
  • 21:57 Photo: › You’d be an excellent rapper! J-Gro! Why J-Gro? Well, I don’t know if you caught at the beginning;... tumblr.com/xlu39bbved #
  • 22:38 OK an Indian wedding is taking place nearby. Shouldn't they have booked a hall instead of doing the ceremony in a residential area? #
  • 22:42 @YoshikiOfficial t.co/IXUPMzX sorry for the clapping. I totally understand it ruins the deep focus while you're on piano #
  • 22:49 @YoshikiOfficial but just so you know you were magnificent playing the Art Of Life piano part. t.co/IXUPMzX #
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Yes mostly with work colleagues. We used to call a manager Dragon because she was strict and intimidating like a dragon, even unleashed her angry side when things went wrong for her. I call my supervisor Thunder's sister because she was good friends with another colleague who had been called Thunder and they behaved in the same way. Both were icy bitches who barely speak to their colleagues.

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